March 4, 2016

Mom and Dad

Carl Donald Stancil and Ann
Gladys Allen on their wedding day
May 2, 1952 in Raleigh, NC
I'm thinking a lot about my mom and dad these days. I think of them every day, but somehow each year between February 2 and April 13, I think about them even more.

Daddy died on 2 Feb 1997 of a perforated intestine. Essentially, he had a hole in his gut. Normally, these things are easily repaired, but he already had end stage heart and lung disease, so he was placed in palliative care with a morphine drip and allowed to pass peacefully and painlessly. He was 66 years old, just 10 years older than I am now. He served in the US Marines for over 20 years followed by another 20 years in civil service. So he gave. More than most.

Mama died 10 weeks later on 13 April 1997. She died of a broken heart, both literally and figuratively. Although she could be a real pickle to live with, she loved my daddy with all her heart. I'll never forget the look on her face when I told her daddy had passed. 

1958 in Hawaii
I recall the shock I felt at suddenly being an orphan, despite my age. BOTH of my parents were gone. It felt quick and sharp. I've never felt so alone. I recall a quote from John Kennedy, Jr that you don't really become an adult until both of your parents are gone. I didn't understand that before but I do now.

My parents are still with me; in ways many might find...well, odd. 

My mother stands in my kitchen and talks to me when I'm cooking. She's often telling me what I'm doing wrong <grin> and she's almost always standing in my way. But in spite of our mother/daughter dynamics, I love that she is there.


Daddy often rides in the car with me. He loved for me to drive him places. He'd sit in passenger seat and say "now honey, slow down...". I have a lead foot and the driving record to prove it. He'd often ask to stop for ice cream on the way home. The man loved his ice cream!

There's no doubt in my mind that my parents loved me with all they had. They gave me everything they had to give. I've done the same for my son. 



Miss you mom and dad! Thank you. For everything.




March 1, 2016

Taking the DNA Plunge!

I did it. I finally did it! I forked over the $99 to have my DNA tested via Ancestry DNA. I'm very excited; 6 weeks seems like an awfully long time from now to wait for my results.

I've been thinking about taking the leap for a long time, but the price tag always stopped me. I'm stingy like that. BUT...then I read Judy Russell's blog post on getting the most bang for your DNA buck. Judy's known as The Legal Genealogist and writes some of the most clear and concise information I've found. Her post on DNA pushed me to DO IT!

So I forked over the $99 and spit in the little container and popped it in the mail. Now I wait.

Really...after all the money and HOURS I've spent over the past 30 years on my genealogy obsession, $99 is very little to pay to take it to the next level. And why not take full advantage of the newest DNA technology to learn more about my family?  After all, DNA testing told me that I carried the BRCA1 gene that gives me a 75% chance of having breast and ovarian cancer, and that turned out to be...well...sadly true. But I digress...

Once my DNA test results are in, I'll be able to link to them on Ancestry.com and hopefully connect with new cousins and dig even deeper into my ancestry.

You should do it too!  After all, the more DNA results we have in the pool, the greater the chance we will connect. Come on. Do it. It's just a little spit!










February 21, 2016

John Ruffin Davis


John Ruffin DAVIS is my great great grandfather on my maternal side. He is one of my brick walls and quite a mystery to me. Part of the problem is his oh so common name: John Davis.

I’m not entirely sure whether he went by John or Ruffin. My instincts tell me it was Ruffin, but since that was his middle name it may not appear on certain documents.

Ruffin was born about 1825 in Granville County, NC. He married my great great grandmother, Lucinda Davis, on Janurary 5, 1859. Lucinda was the daughter of Jonathan Davis and Matilda Bailey. A Davis married a Davis. Lovely. One more hurdle in researching this couple.

On the 1850 census, he is living with William Davis, age 28, Susan age 17, and their daughter Virginia, age 3 months. Interestingly, William is Lucinda's half brother whom Ruffin would not marry for another 9 years. Ruffn's occupation is listed as farmer. 

1850 US Census, Granville County, NC


Ruffin shows up on the 1860 census in the Beaverdam area of Granville County as John R. Davis at age 35. He is living with wife Lucinda, age 20, Francis Allen, age 30 and daughter Indiana, age 6 months. I've no idea who this Francis Allen is - perhaps a family member. 

1860 US Census, Granville County, NC

Ruffin and Lucinda had 5 children:

1.   Indiana, born 20 Nov 1859. She died on 05 Oct 1904 in Granville County, NC at age 44. She married George P LOWERY on 12 Nov 1884 in Franklin County, NC.
2.   Sidney Irvin, my great grandfather, born on 29 May 1860 in Granville County, NC. He died on 03 Mar 1944 in Granville County, of chronic myocardial degeneration (ie heart disease) at age 83. I've heard he was a raging alcoholic. He married Cordelia Ann DAVIS on 24 May 1888 in Granville County, NC.
3.   James Medicus was born on 27 Dec 1864 in Granville County and died on 26 Nov 1932 in Granville County, NC at age 66.
4.   Charles was born in 1870 in Wake County, NC. 
5.    Ed. He may have died at birth.

Ruffin was old enough to have served in the Civil War and may have enlisted in Person County May 5, 1861. He would have been 38. This may explain the gap in his children's birth dates: 1860 - 1864. 

Another John R Davis of Granville County is shown in the American Civil War Soldiers database on Ancestry.com. He fought for the confederacy in unit 140. Enlisted as a private on 10 Aug 1861 at the age of 29 (would have been born around 1834). Died of disease Jan 31, 1863 in Granville County. 

I can't determine definitely if either of these men was my John Ruffin Davis.

Lucinda married Simon Hall in November 1873, so presumably Ruffin died prior to that. The youngest child for whom I have a birth year was born in 1870, so date of death was likely between 1870 and 1873. I do not find him on the 1870 census.

There is a family story that Ruffin's brother Charlie killed his wife Alice while she held their new born baby in her arms. Charlie was arrested and held in the Wake County jail. Medicus (one of Ruffin's sons and Charlie's nephew) went to visit Charlie at the jail. During the visit, Med mentioned that he'd attended Alice's funeral. Charlie didn't remember killing Alice and he was distraught. That night, he hung himself in the jail using a bed sheet. I haven't found any documentation of this story but it sure makes for some family drama!

If you know a single thing about John Ruffin Davis, I'd sure like to hear about it!


February 20, 2016

Find a Grave - my newest obsession


So I mentioned last month that I've become a tad obsessed with Find a Grave.com. I've used the site for years, it's not a new toy, but lately I've become interested in taking pictures to add to the site.

I've chosen cemeteries where my family members are buried. Most are already listed on the site, and most are 100% documented with pictures. But for those that do not have all the gravestones pictured, I'll drive over, snap the shots, and upload them to the site. Luckily, I live in the land of my ancestors, so all the cemeteries are within a 3 county radius.

What fun! Oh boy, does that mean I am OLD? Yup, I think it does. I'm really trying very hard to embrace my mid-50s. I certainly look that old (thanks, breast cancer) and most days I feel that old. But it's great exercise traipsing around cemeteries and I enjoy the OCD component in checking un-pictured graves off my little list. 

Find a Grave charges a one-time fee of $5 to sponsor a memorial. Sponsoring memorials means all the advertisements are removed and the photo limit is increased from 5 to 20. Each week, I chose one family member to sponsor. I started with my parents and I'm working my way through my direct line ancestors. Then, I'll start on the aunts and uncles.

I've found there can be quite a lot of politics on the internet around Find a Grave. I try to stay out of the fray and take a fairly liberal attitude toward transferring memorials to people who are more closely related to the deceased than me.

It's a fairly harmless hobby, right? Keeps me off the streets at night!




December 31, 2015

Year end, look back, blah, blah, blah

I admit it. I've been a terrible blogger this year. I've neglected my blog and my promise to myself to be a consistent blogger. 

But if that's my worst mistake in 2015 (and believe me, it's not) then I would be in pretty good shape here on December 31, 2015.

Just 'cause I haven't been blogging doesn't mean I haven't been up to my eyeballs in genealogy.

Genealogy accomplishments in 2015

- I've become very active in the Wake County Genealogical Society. President-in-Training, VP Communications, Volunteer Coordinator. I need to seriously coordinate us into some more volunteers!  I helped get a new web site online. Check it out!

- Invested in a new genealogy database since my beloved FTM is going away. I'm incorporating my move to RootsMagic with a do-over. It's a monumental task. 

- I've really gotten into Find-a-Grave this year. Taken lots of photographs, beefing up bio info and pics on memorials I own, finding graves for all those I can.

- Totally organized all my digital files on Dropbox. I'm proud of me!

- Organized all my paper documentation, made sure I had digital copies, and put all the paper in binders organized by family name.

- Started taking apart photo albums that do not adhere to best practices, scan pics, organize pics. Need to decide if I want to hand scrapbook them or do a digital scrapbook.

- I downloaded all my digital documentation from Ancestry and made sure I had back up copies on Dropbox. Also made sure I attached them to the right person in FTM, which will soon become a duplicated effort when I put them in RootsMagic. Sigh.

- Volunteered for Ancestry Day at the McKimmon Center in Raleigh, NC. Spent day 1 at the NC Archives and day 2 at the event itself helping folks get registered and find their way. Very cool.

- Spent an afternoon at the Richard H. Thornton Library in Oxford, NC poking through the Hays Collection. Also spent a day at the Johnston County Heritage Center in Smithfield, NC. And several days at the NC State Archives in Raleigh, NC. 

- Throughout it all, I made serious hay on Ancestry.com and all the many other databases I like to dig through. I even managed to post here a few times.

Whew!  Looking back, that's a LOT. 

But it's gonna be even better in 2016!  Bring it on. After all, some of my best friends are dead people.


December 17, 2015

Favorite Family Recipes: Mama's Fudge



Ann Gladys Allen Stancil
and her new cocker spaniel puppy.
Honolulu, Hawaii
Mama made this fudge at Thanksgiving and again at Christmas. It was one of her most requested recipes!

 
  • 3 cups sugar
  • 3/4 cup butter (margarine just isn't the same!)
  • 1 small can (5 oz.) evaporated milk. Don't use sweetened condensed milk!
  • 1 (7 oz.) jar marshmallow crème
  • I cup chopped pecans or walnuts
  • 1 tsp. vanilla (not the fake stuff!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Putting it all together...
  1. Measure all your ingredients before starting. Once you get started, you'll need to work fast.
  2. Line a 9-in square pan with foil leaving extra over the side to use as handles.
  3. Bring sugar, butter, and evaporated milk to a full rolling boil in a 3 qt. saucepan on medium heat. Stir constantly, it will stick to the bottom and burn in a skinny minute!
  4. Cook for about 4 minutes until a candy thermometer reaches 234 degrees F.
  5. Remove from heat and add chips and marshmallow crème.  Stir like crazy until all is melted. Mama often had Daddy standing by to put some real muscle into the stir!
  6. Add nuts and vanilla.
  7. Pour into prepared pan and spread to cover bottom of pan.
  8. Cool completely. Use foil handled to lift fudge from pan before cutting into small squares.
Has 0 calories if consumed during the holidays!
 

 

 

December 14, 2015

What's all the fuss?

Unless you live under a rock, you've heard that Ancestry.com is saying bye bye to Family Tree Maker. 

I'll admit, I was a bit surprised by the announcement, but after thinking about it from a business perspective,  I got it. 

I've worked for software companies most of my career. Still do. Software as a Service (SAAS) became a thing about 10 years ago. Then, along came all the hoopla around the "cloud". It makes perfect sense that Ancestry would eventually choose not to invest any more $$$ in development of an old-fashioned software program. That's so last century. 

So they're doing away with FTM and moving everyone to maintaining their tree on their web site, which by the way charges nearly $400 a year to maintain all the resources. See, it's all about the money. 

That's not as offensive as it may sound, all about the money. Without income, they won't have the resources to continue to build the empire. Or pay people to scan and index records. Or maintain their site. Or look good to their stockholders. 

So, I get it. 

Still, it's a bummer.  We'll lose features now in FTM but not available in the online trees on Ancestry. Well, shoot. Stuff happens. 

The world hasn't ended. The world still turns. We all woke up this morning. It's all gonna be ok with or without Family Tree Maker. 

I promise.